Before I start my super duper long winded story, I need to pen this down as a reminder that I should be very thankful I have MrF with me. He’s a man of few words but his actions.. fuh! so much love for this Husband of mine la! I need to constantly remind myself to always treasure this man. Not trying to show off but this whole pregnancy and birth episode really made me think about this. I really thank Allah for the jodoh he has assigned to me.
Hehe.. Ok, birth story:
MrF and I had our date night watching movies in our room on 14 Jan night. We happened to watch Masterminds (based on a true heist story). This obviously led to me dreaming. On Sunday 15 Jan at around 5.40am, I dreamt an action packed kinda dream. In my dream, I was part of a heist and was escaping with my fellow bandits when suddenly whoooosh! I felt a pop (I’m not sure why I could differentiate dream and reality at this point) and my hand automatically went down to my bottom. I felt a gush of water. Within 2 sec (I believe I was that fast hehehe), I jumped out of bed and let the water gush on the floor instead of on the bed. I know.. wrong priorities – I could have injured myself and baby but at that moment I didn’t remember I was pregnant and wetting the bed is a big no no (da 39 weeks seh, ape plak lupa eh)
MrF is a light sleeper and he was shocked to hear a loud thud. I really pity MrF cos he has such a crappy dramatic wife who always makes funny actions and he loses sleep over it.
Anyway A LOT of water gushed out. I was sitting on the floor for about 5-10min before I got up.
I read that I have up to 24hours after waterbag burst. My plan was to wait till contractions are 5min apart before making my way to hosp. I confirmed this with a few friends and they agreed with me.
I cleaned up, performed subuh and then MrF and I had a 2hr walk around our area. We had LJS porridge breakfast. I didn’t feel any contractions yet. After the walk, we went home and napped. Woke up around noon but still no contractions. Hmm we started to worry..
The MIL found out that we didn’t admit ourselves in yet and she called to scold us. After that scolding, we thought okla let’s listen to the elderly and check ourselves in at 3pm (9h after burst) even though there’s no contractions. I was only 1cm dilated. KK Nurses nagged cos we didn’t admit earlier. They were afraid of cord prolapse (cord coming out first?). They said if it’s only slight leaking, we could go home but cos I’ve gushed out quite a lot of water I had to be admitted.
And so.. my long torturous journey of waiting at the delivery suite began. I seriously thought I could give birth that 15 Jan night but I didn’t have any contractions. Dilation was also super slow. I had to be induced. I was praying that I can stand the induced contractions. After 8hours of drip induce, my dilation was only at 3cm. Omgee! Gynae said there must be something wrong if not, most patients would have dilated easily.
I succumbed to epidural (I cried cos I didn’t want this) on 16 Jan at 12 noon (30h after burst). They had already given me the max dose of the induced meds. My back was in too much pain and I was still at 3cm. The whole time since admission I was not allowed to walk and I was really frustrated. I kept thinking I could save all these hours and not take epidural – if only they had let me walk around. The hosp bed was also too short for me. My feet were dangling off the bed. (KK, pls get some men size beds. There are ladies in SG who are >1.7m tall k)
On 16 Jan at 4pm (34h after burst), gynae came in to tell us that I was only 5cm dilated. She said if by 5pm, I am not fully dilated, I would need to go for emergency csect as I cannot be on the drip for too long, it’s bad for my womb and baby. Again, I cried. I negotiated for more time and doc gave an extra hour. All the while we were waiting we kept reading surah2 Quran and ayat2 to permudahkan the labour. Doc came in to check at 6pm, and I was fully dilated!
I asked MrF to sujud syukur immediately cos I avoided csect (or so I thot). Although I had fully dilated, we only started the pushing at 730pm.
My last makan was on 15 Jan (the day before). That means I’ve gone 24hours without food. During the pushing, I ended up puking instead of pushing baby out. So torturous! Green acidic fluid came out instead. I was gagging and tired, I couldn’t push hard.
Baby’s hair could be seen down there but I somehow can’t push baby out. He was so near yet so far. At that point, gynae checked and mentioned that my pelvic bone is blocking his way. Why didn’t she realise this prob earlier on??
I asked if she could forcep or vacuum his head out but she mentioned that his position was wrong too (again, why didn’t she realise that earlier on??). These procedures could cut open his head instead of pulling him out. I already waited few months for this baby, there’s no way I’m going to risk his life.
We had no choice but to go for emergency csect at 945pm (40h after burst). At that moment, I felt like a total failure. I succumbed to epidural AND emergency csect. I know it’s not a bad thing and my situation called for it. But it’s more of a personal achievement if I didn’t have to go thru this. I have always hoped to experience a natural no epidural birth. I didn’t picture myself being in this situation. At that moment, I pictured myself having postnatal depression cos of this but I quickly snapped out of it.
I was wheeled into the OT at 10pm. Even at the OT table, gynae asked me to push again cos baby was really at the end of the birth canal. I could feel the ring of fire also cos they stopped the epidural when I started to push at 730pm. Unfortunately even though I pushed hard, baby didn’t budge. Emergency csect started after that and by 1035pm (41hr after burst) baby was out. Thankfully I managed to ask for skin to skin despite being in a groggy state. I still couldn’t get over the shock of me going thru csect. In my head, I kept thinking what would MrF think of me. We kept talking abt natural birth. I walked and squatted a lot in my last trimester. I bought a gym ball. I ate healthy food. How could all that fail me? (But of cos Allah yg menentukan)
At the recovery room, I had about an hour to myself. To prevent myself from being sad, I asked the nurse if MrF can enter. Since it’s a restricted area, she gave me the phone instead. At that moment, he was all alone outside the OT. I can’t imagine waiting outside an OT and not be able to do anything. Sempat ada perasan moment, I imagined him to be super worried for me so I wanted to reassure him I was ok. Heh. I wanted to tell him I was ok and to ask if he managed to see baby. KK should have sent him up to the ward first la, at least he could have rested in the room while waiting for me.
When I was wheeled out of the recovery room, I saw MrF. He was really tired and his panda eyes..so kesian! I had epidural to make me sleep but for him.. he was really on his toes the whole 2 days?
So that concludes our 41hr labour story..from 540am on 15 Jan to 1035pm on 16 Jan.
We reached our ward at 130am, 17 Jan. Our baby was wheeled to us at 230am. At that moment, we forgot all the pain and tiredness. Mr and Mrs Fs are parents now 😬
Even though things didn’t go as I planned, I should be thankful. It had to come from my wise 8yo niece: “At least baby and u came out healthy and safe.” I wonder why kids are so clever nowadays.