Rants of a FTM

I’m originally a carefree person but sadly that has changed since we started trying for a baby. I’ve become such a worrywart. It seems to worsen after I gave birth I think. 

I discussed this briefly with fellow blogger mummies before. I will try my best to bring BBoss out everyday (for my own sanity and to give BBoss some VitD) but during those outings, I’ll be worrying non stop. I may look calm on the outside when I go out with BBoss but deep inside, I’m thinking and over thinking things. Blearghhh… I’m not sure what I’m so worried about but I will definitely worry. 

Can’t pinpoint what exactly. It’s like I’m always talking with my conscience:

– afraid he will be cranky at night and won’t sleep? (Babies are cranky anyway right?)

– afraid I’ll be too tired and faint? Who to care for him?? (Urmm hello? Husband around right? Mom also right? Sisters can help out too la..)

– afraid of tantrums from BBoss? (What’s the worse that can happen? He’ll just scream his lungs out right? He’s been doing that right?)

– afraid not enough milk? (I think must always be positive then the milk ducts will continue producing milk)

– afraid that going out is affecting his sleep or awake schedule (babies don’t have schedule la!)

– maybe I feel like I’m not in control of my schedule and BBoss can throw me a curveball anytime he wants (I’m already expecting the worst all the time so what’s the big deal right?)

– or this could be IT: I never had to worry about another being when I go out or do anything but now I have this HUMONGOUS responsibility for someone so small. (Carefree people don’t have responsibilities. Yeah probably this is it)

I’ve been thinking and thinking why. I hope it’s a normal feeling for FTMs and pls don’t end up crazy, my dear self. 

I guess the best way to overcome this is – practice and take things day by day. Just keep doing it and I’ll become a better mama each time. Jiayou to me! 💪🏻

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